


Rules of Acquisition

by zhiantara



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-19
Updated: 2013-10-19
Packaged: 2017-12-29 20:03:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1009500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhiantara/pseuds/zhiantara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Uhura finally gets to command an away mission; unfortunately, the mission introduces her to a species with a strict policy on keeping females out of business transactions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rules of Acquisition

The humans who had originally colonized this planet had named it Paradiso, and it was uncertain now whether the name was intended as a deceptive marketing ploy or as simple irony. It had no notable ores, and its arid climate and barren soil allowed for little cultivation. Paradiso had only the dubious asset of its location at the crossroads of many different smuggling routes. This seedy, cramped bar in Paradiso’s main city was not a meeting place Uhura would’ve chosen; but she was at the mercy of some as yet faceless merchant, and he had insisted on this location.

She weaved through the dense crowd. The away team wore civilian clothing; in this sort of place, a Starfleet uniform would send half the people running and the other half drawing weapons. Through the hum of hundreds of conversations, Uhura discerned voices at the bar ordering drinks in English; to her right, Romulans debated their senate’s recent election tampering; on the far left side of the bar, a raunchy Klingon joke was followed by booming laughter. She filtered through it all, listening for any mention of their merchant, a man named Krag.

Behind her, Carol Marcus leaned close and spoke in what, among this crowd, passed for a whisper: “How are we supposed to find him in all this?”

It was a good question, Uhura thought as she cast her gaze around the room. _My associate and I will be sitting at a table with a bottle of Romulan ale. I’ll be the one wearing the gold chain_ , Krag’s last transmission had said. But most of the tables were obscured by all the standing bodies. Uhura nodded towards the barkeep. “We’ll have to ask.” She lifted her head and continued through the throng.

She’d made a very strong argument to the captain for why she should be the one to lead this away mission. And while it was true that she was the best person for the job, she was also itching to command her own away team. Since the start of their five-year mission, Spock, Sulu, even Scotty had all been given such an opportunity, and Uhura saw no reason why she should not have the chance as well. Kirk hadn’t needed much convincing; it was Uhura, after all, who’d found a merchant with the machinery they needed, who’d negotiated the terms of the trade and arranged for this meeting. Kirk had even let her pick the other members of the away team: Carol was there to examine the quality of the goods, and Ensign Darwin had volunteered to round out their numbers and provide additional security, if necessary. Uhura trusted both of them, and she trusted her own abilities, and she was determined to make this mission a success.

First, she needed to find this damned merchant.

With a heavy exhale, she relaxed her shoulders and approached the bartender, a surly-looking Orion male. He scowled at her from beneath furrowed brows as she sat in the only available barstool. “Hey there,” she said with a small smile—not too friendly, in a place like this. It was better to put on the mien of a confident criminal. “I’m looking for a man named Krag; have you seen him?”

When the Orion simply narrowed his eyes, Darwin reached over Uhura’s shoulder and placed a stack of coins on the bar. “If you need some time to think, you can get me a tall glass of kanar.”

The bartender’s suspicious scowl softened into a mere frown as he scooped up the coins. When he turned to retrieve a glass, Carol asked, “You’re getting a drink? Now?”

Darwin shrugged. “He might be more willing to give us information if we’re actual patrons. And that money covers the drink with plenty to spare.”

As he pushed a glass of thick amber liquid across the bar, the Orion jerked his chin towards the far left end of the room. “The Ferengi sitting by the wall.”

Uhura scanned the area he’d indicated until she found the table that had a tall blue bottle and two men sitting around it, one of them wearing a heavy gold chain around his neck. This was the first she’d ever seen or heard of a Ferengi, and the orange skin, massive ears, and tiny eyes revealed nothing of use to her. A knot twisted in her stomach, and she suddenly felt woefully unprepared for the task ahead.

She took a deep breath to steady herself. The terms had already been set. Darwin had under one arm the box of latinum strips Krag had demanded. The latinum had been a pain to procure; they’d traded quite a bit of equipment for it with an anxious Bolian who’d been awfully curious about Starfleet’s extradition treaties. All that was left now was for Carol to inspect Krag’s offering—a Type Two thermionic power pack that was desperately needed on a nearby planet—and then they could finalize the trade.

She hopped down from the barstool. “Let’s do this.”

The bodies pressed closer in this part of the room. As Uhura squeezed between a pair of Cardassians, she heard Carol ask Darwin, “Why do you carry money?”

“I don’t always,” Darwin replied. “When I was on Space Station K-7, I helped a trader fix his ship’s sensor array, and he insisted on giving me money in return. I’m just glad I finally got a chance to use it.”

When they reached the table where Krag sat, the Ferengi peered up at them. “Can I help you, ladies?” sneered Krag.

Uhura sat down across from him, while Carol and Darwin stood on either side of her. “It’s nice to meet you face-to-face. We’re here to make the trade.”

The two Ferengi gaped at her for a long moment before Krag’s face wrinkled in disgust, and he shrieked, “ _Females_?”

Uhura could only blink and give her head a small shake before Krag slammed his fist on the table, continuing in that same shrill tone, “They sent _females_ to negotiate a business deal?”

The other Ferengi leaned forward, saying, “Now now, cousin, I’m sure these females are just here to introduce the actual representative.” He smiled, a little too earnestly, at Uhura. “Isn’t that right, my dear?”

Uhura narrowed her eyes. “No, gentlemen. You’ll be dealing with us. We have the fifty strips of latinum you requested, and we’re ready and willing to make the trade.”

Krag threw his hands up and cried, “I have never been more insulted in my life! I chose, against the advice of my colleagues and my own better judgment, to make a deal with you _hew-mons_ for the first time, and what does the Federation do? They send _females_ to conduct their business!”

“Is that a problem?” Uhura asked; and if any aggravation had leaked into her voice, well, who could blame her? She was only _hew-mon_.

Krag pointed a finger nearly up to Uhura’s nose, but she didn’t let her gaze waver from his. “Rule of Acquisition number ninety-four: _females and finances don’t mix_!”

His voice carried well over the din of the bar; fortunately, the other patrons didn’t seem to mind. Uhura folded her arms over her chest and replied steadily, “I’m sorry that our gender offends you, but we just need to make this trade, and then we’ll be out of your—” She paused, glancing at his smooth, hairless head. “—way.”

“This is outrageous! Surely you have a man nearby who can conduct business properly? I demand to speak with your superior!”

Uhura felt Darwin’s hand on her shoulder. “A word, Lieutenant?” Uhura stood, and the three women huddled a few feet away. “I don’t think he’s going to budge.”

Carol quirked her eyebrow with a skeptical frown, asking Darwin, “You think we should do what he says? Call the captain and have him do the talking for us?”

“Absolutely not,” said Uhura. She wasn’t about to give up on her first command mission just to satisfy the prejudice of some cranky little merchant. “He says he won’t deal with women, but he’ll deal with us. We’ll find a way.”

“And if you can’t change his mind?” asked Darwin. “You said so yourself the other day—he’s the only one in the quadrant who has that kind of power pack. The colony on Cygnus Five won’t last another month without it.”

“We’ll find a way,” Uhura repeated. “Now, do I have your cooperation?” They both gave resolute nods.

Uhura returned to the chair, but before she could speak, Krag put on a sly smile and said, “You should’ve listened to your friend. After all, it wouldn’t even take an hour for me to find another buyer; but you won’t find another one of these power packs in this quadrant if you searched for five years.” Seeing Uhura’s frown, he stroked the edge of his large ears. “What? You think my hearing is as weak as yours?”

Instead of replying, Uhura nodded at Darwin, who set the box of latinum down on the table and opened it. “Here,” said Uhura. “Fifty bars of gold-pressed latinum, as promised.”

The gold glimmered in Krag’s widening eyes. He nearly reached out for the money, but he managed to restrain himself and instead made a show of examining his blue fingernails. “Despite how you’ve insulted me, I am, unfortunately, soft at heart. I can forgive this indiscretion, and all it will cost you is another fifty bars of latinum.”

Uhura almost laughed, until she realized he was being serious. “You’re doubling your price?”

“Consider it my fee for dealing with females.”

“Or maybe they could find some other way to make it up to us,” said Krag’s associate, baring his sharp teeth in the wicked grin he set upon Carol. “I rather like the yellow one.”

Carol gawked at him like he was a cockroach flying towards her head. She said with a curled lip, “You can’t expect us to pay double what you originally asked when we haven’t even seen the product yet. We don’t even know if it’s in good working order.”

“And now you question the quality of my goods?” Krag exclaimed. “I ought to charge you triple, just for the psychological assaults you’ve put me through! But since you seem determined to besmirch my good name, allow me to defend myself: Ishkar, show them the power pack.”

The other Ferengi dragged a large box onto the table and opened it, revealing the power pack. As Carol reached for it, Ishkar pulled the box away. “Not so fast, my dear. Cousin Krag has not consented to deal with you—yet.”

“I’ll lower my asking price to eighty bars of latinum, on the condition that you let me speak to a man.”

Uhura’s eyes rolled up to the ceiling. It was time, she decided, to switch tactics. “You say you want to deal with a man, but our captain won’t speak to you for anything over sixty bars of latinum, especially if you won’t let us inspect the product.”

“Seventy-five bars, and I’ll give you all the time you need to inspect it—so long as you tell no one of my abhorrent generosity.”

As Uhura and Krag argued back and forth, Carol craned her neck to try to get a better view of the power pack. She was so focused on it that she didn’t notice the orange hand reaching towards her, not until it was pinching her backside. Uhura heard Carol yelp at nearly the same time she heard Carol’s fist making contact with Ishkar’s face.

Either Carol was a lot stronger than she appeared, or the Ferengi was particularly fragile: He went tumbling backwards off his chair and collided with a Klingon standing behind him. The Klingon let out a growl, seizing the Ferengi by his shirt and shoving him back.

“ _Watch yourself, worm!_ ” the Klingon roared in his own language.

Ishkar waved his hands in front of himself. “Whoa, wait a second!”

The Klingon was already drawing his fist back. He threw the punch, but Ishkar ducked just in time—and Carol, still standing behind him, took the full force of the blow right in her face.

The punch sent her flying, and she crashed into a Cardassian, and they both ended up at the feet of a man who turned out to be a Bajoran. The Bajoran hurled his drink to the floor, and as the glass smashed he screamed, “You wanna start something, _spoon head_?”

“ _Oh my god_ ,” Uhura muttered. The Bajoran and Cardassian looked seconds away from an all-out brawl, and the Klingon was still trying to land a hit on Ishkar. Uhura and Darwin both lunged towards Carol and dragged her back, as above them the Bajoran seized the Cardassian by the neck.

A high-pitched shriek rang through Uhura’s ears, and she turned in time to see the Klingon and his friends flipping over the table where Krag sat clutching the power pack. Ishkar was on the floor, clutching his associate’s legs. Krag glanced wide-eyed at Uhura, and then he pointed at her and screamed, “They started this! Those—those _Starfleet officers_!”

The room went utterly quiet. The silence was broken by Carol’s groan as she came out of her daze. Darwin had her hand on her belt, half an inch away from the phaser beneath her leather jacket. Uhura kept her gaze locked onto Krag. She spoke through gritted teeth, “We. Had. A _deal_.”

Krag spread his hands and shrugged. “I don’t deal with females.”

All around, she could hear the whir and buzz of phasers being armed; Uhura’s body stayed still and stiff. “Doctor Marcus,” she whispered, “get ready to examine that power pack.”

Carol’s attention was elsewhere; she squinted around the room with her one good eye. “What? Now?”

“Yeah. We’re going to cover you while you rip it out of his hands.”

Uhura didn’t wait for Carol to acknowledge the plan, such as it was, before she leapt forward and kicked the fallen table towards the group of Klingons. At the same time, Darwin snatched up the box of latinum and tossed it towards Krag. The Ferengi yelped and caught the box—losing the power pack in the process. Carol didn’t hesitate: She slid across the floor on her stomach, behind the table where Uhura had her phaser out and firing stun shots towards the Klingons, and caught the power pack before it hit the ground.

Darwin grabbed Krag by the front of his shirt. “A pleasure doing business with you,” she said. Then, planting her feet, she flung him over the table. He crashed into the front line of Klingons; the commotion of having a body thrown at them interrupted their fire, long enough for Uhura to note, with a hint of admiration, that Krag never lost his grip on the box of latinum.

Darwin only had to glare at Ishkar; the other Ferengi threw up his hands and shrieked, “I surrender!” before darting towards the door at the back of the bar.

Many of the bar patrons had fled through various exits; those that stayed either squabbled amongst themselves (the group of Bajorans and Cardassians were still at each other’s throats) or advanced on the trio of Starfleet officers—except for some Romulans, who had moved underneath a table to finish their drinks.

Darwin swung a chair up to knock out a human who’d nearly given Uhura a haircut with a wicked-looking knife. Carol huddled against the table with the power pack in one hand and her tricorder in the other. She dropped the tricorder onto her lap and grabbed her communicator. “Right, I’m satisfied!” She flipped open the communicator. “Marcus to _Enterprise_ , beam us out!”

Kirk’s voice came over the communicator. “What’s going on down there, Lieutenant?”

Uhura ducked, barely missing a phaser blast to the face. “We’ll explain later, Captain! Just get us out of here!”

They found themselves, none too soon, standing on the _Enterprise_ ’s transporter pad—except for Carol, who sat on the floor with the power pack in her lap and an ugly welt on one side of her face.

Uhura and Darwin helped Carol to her feet, just as Captain Kirk entered the transporter room. Upon seeing their condition, Kirk stopped in his tracks. He held out his hands, baffled, and exclaimed, “What the hell happened?”

“There were,” Uhura said delicately, still trying to catch her breath, “ _complications_.”

Carol held out the power pack, attempting to smile with only half of her face. “But we made the trade!”

“What the hell kind of trade involves you getting a black eye?” When none of them answered right away, he gaped helplessly at Uhura. “You wanna explain this, Lieutenant?”

Heaving a sigh and squaring her shoulders, Uhura stepped off the transporter pad and approached the captain. “Krag didn’t want to make the trade with us. Apparently it’s against his people’s customs to let women get involved with business.”

Kirk frowned. “All right,” he said slowly. “So why didn’t you contact us? We could’ve sent a male officer down there to help you.”

Uhura struggled to find a better response than _I wanted us to do it ourselves_ ; as she considered her reply, Carol interjected, “It was my fault! I—I escalated the situation.”

“You did?”

“It wasn’t her fault, Captain!” said Uhura.

“She was only defending herself,” Darwin added. “Krag’s associate touched Doctor Marcus in a very _inappropriate_ manner.”

When Kirk looked to Carol for confirmation, she said, “He did. So I hit him.”

“You _hit_ him?”

Carol winced, and winced again with the pain the expression caused to her bruised face. “It was reflexive, really…” She demonstrated the backhand maneuver she’d used on Ishkar with a slow, stilted motion, and at the end she brought the hand up to scratch the back of her head.

“So you attacked the merchant after he made inappropriate contact with you.” Carol nodded, and Kirk looked to Uhura. “And you let it happen?”

Uhura raised her chin. Starting a bar brawl wasn’t exactly the sort of behavior Starfleet wanted from its officers; and a backhand across the face definitely was not part of First Contact procedure. As the commander of the away mission, it was Uhura’s job to ensure that the other officers conducted themselves in a manner befitting representatives of the United Federation of Planets; but Uhura could not condemn Carol for defending herself against unwanted advances. She wouldn’t shy away from that judgment, and she’d gladly accept whatever consequences Kirk handed down for it. “Yes, sir, I did.”

All at once, the muscles in Kirk’s face relaxed. “Right! I’ll let those colonists know we’re on our way with their power pack. Uhura, take Doctor Marcus to the medbay. Ensign Darwin, you can bring that power pack to Engineering.” He raised his eyebrows and grinned. “Nice work.”

They followed him out of the transporter room and headed in the opposite direction towards the turbolift. When the captain was out of earshot, Uhura halted to let herself burst into laughter.

“I don’t know,” Carol mused. “Do you think we made those Ferengi see the benefits of dealing with females?”

“Oh,” Uhura said, taking a breath, “I’m pretty sure they won’t even want to _look_ at another female after this.”

Darwin smirked. “Well, Lieutenant, let me know when you’re leading another away mission. I’d love to come along.”

“Me too,” said Carol, “so long as someone else gets punched by a Klingon next time.”

“You got it,” Uhura replied.


End file.
